


Blue

by ChocoNut



Series: Many ways to say I love you [34]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Epilogue, F/M, Fix It, Fluff and Feels, Happy Ending, If Jaime's death is faked this is how I'd want it to end, Mild Angst, Reunion, Season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 14:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18780313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: Jaime is presumed dead in King's Landing and Brienne goes on with her life in Tarth... until one day he lands up at her doorstep. But Selwyn Tarth is not too pleased to see him.





	Blue

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Nik saying the one word he'd use to describe the season is "blue"  
> Thanks for reading and hope you like it!

_Brienne, I love you, I’m sorry..._

The words never came, but the look Jaime gave her, the brief union of their eyes told Brienne all she needed to know.

_It’s you, not Cersei, I hope you understand… and, one day, forgive me._

They spent an agonizing moment ignoring the huge wall of flames, gazing at each other, an unspoken conversation that, perhaps, they were both too late to have. As if reading her mind, an enormous pillar came crashing down, separating them, trapping her on the wrong side of the fire.

She knew at once what to do. “I’m coming for you,” she coughed, stepping into the dense cloud of smoke, her eyes smarting and her vision blurred. But she went on, undeterred by the pain, for there was just one thing in her mind, one last chance to get him out of this hell alive. She would do what it took to save him… or die trying.

In she waded into the jaws of death, a madwoman consumed by love, when she felt a strong pull on her arm.

“Don’t do that, m’lady--ser,” Podrick implored, his innocent eyes looking at her beseechingly. “This is suicide. He has no chance, you’ll die if you follow him.”

“I’m still going to try.” She tried to shrug him off but he didn’t let go, determined to talk her out of it. “Let me go, Pod, don’t you dare defy me--”

But her faithful squire paid no heed, refusing to loosen his grip on her, unwilling to budge. “I’m afraid, ser, I can’t let you walk to your death,” he announced with such conviction that would, on any other day, have filled her with pride for him. But what she felt at the moment was anger, sadness and a lot more things she couldn’t quite describe, not even to herself.

She directed her helplessness and frustration at him. “Do you expect me to stand here and watch him burn?”

His face fell. “Ser Jaime is beyond your reach,” he said sadly. “He might even be--” _dead by now,_ the boy’s eyes said though he dared not say it aloud. “He wouldn’t want you to do this,” he pleaded with her again. “He’d wish for you to live, if not for yourself, at least for--” he faltered, his eyes dropping to her belly.

 _He sure would want me to, and so would I,_ she agreed reluctantly, _for the life growing inside me. Nothing’s more hateful than taking an innocent life._

She might be depressed, but nothing, not even the gods gave her the right to put an end to a life that was yet to breathe.

_I have to move on, for the baby, for Jaime’s memory, for him._

+++++

“You’re the future Evenstar, it doesn’t do you good to brood like this.”

With a start, Brienne looked up from her desk, Selwyn Tarth’s voice throwing her back to her senses, snapping her out of the past and the dreams and memories she so often took refuge in.

“I’m not brooding,” she lied. “I had dozed off.” She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to substantiate her claim.

No matter how hard she tried, her father always saw through her sorrow, though he never did approve of Jaime or how she felt about him. “You’ve mourned him enough,” he said with a hint of resentment in his voice. “All he’s given you is misery and everlasting proof that he’s had you.”

“He hasn’t exactly _had_ me,” she started to say, the memory of their many nights together crushing her with the pain that she could never touch him again, her father’s bitter words, cheapening their brief, but heavenly time together, worsening her agony. “He loved--”

“If he loved you he wouldn’t have left you for his sister,” fumed Selwyn. “How long will you keep pining for him?”

“He didn’t leave me for his sister,” she defended him, the lump in her throat making speech difficult. “You know he sided with us in the war against Cersei.”

“I would never forgive what he did to you,” Selwyn tried a different tack this time, “he treated you like a whore--”

Brienne was livid at this accusation. “Father--”

“I’m not wrong,” her father went on, “he slept with you as he pleased, abandoning you for another woman, never once thinking about granting you the position of a wife.”

Before she could reply, a man knocked on her door, interrupting them.

“Come in.”

“My lord, my lady,” he greeted them with a bow, “there’s someone to see you.”

“Bring him in,” said her father before she could ask who it was. When the guard left to bring their guest or prisoner as may it be, she returned to her books, least interested in meeting a visitor.

“ _Brienne!_ ”

She froze, looking up at once, for that was a voice she had not heard for days. The sight of the man in front of her brought her to her feet and a few feet closer to him faster than she could blink. How she had craved for her name to fall from his lips the way it just had! How she’d ached to take one last look of his handsome face before the smoke drew them apart! How she wished every single minute of every day and night that she could see him again, that she could tell him she loved him!

When green eyes met hers, she found herself involuntarily walking towards him. “My lady,” he began again, seemingly at a loss for words.

His eyes spoke volumes, one look telling her much more than a string of words ever could, and all Brienne wanted to do was to rush into his arms and bury her face in his chest, never to let go of him again.

But what she did, instead, was punch him in the stomach.

He bent double, groaning. “What the hell was that for? Do you regret that I live?” When Brienne just glared at him, disinterested in the so-called joke, he straightened, a solemn expression filling his face. “I deserve it, Brienne, for the way I’ve behaved--”

“We thought you were dead,” her father cut in, fixing him with a cold look, obviously displeased with his arrival. “How did you survive?”

“I escaped through the tunnels,” he explained, looking only at Brienne. “I left King’s Landing in stealth, I had to lie low for a while until Daenerys was defeated. I went to Winterfell in search of Brienne, and then came straight here on being informed of her whereabouts.”

“What have you come here for?” her father continued interrogating him ruthlessly. Brienne, on the other hand, was absolutely tongue-tied, Jaime’s mere presence shocking her to an unimaginable extent.

The answer was clear in Jaime’s eyes. “For Brienne--”

“You didn’t care to wed her,” Selwyn unleashed his full fury on him, not giving him a chance to complete, “but you did find enough time to bed her and put a child in her. How, may I ask, does this become a nobleman like you?”

The look of surprise on Jaime’s face was nothing she’d seen before. “Child?” he asked again, forgetting everything else her father had hurled at him.

“Yes,” Selwyn lashed out, “you left a bastard in her belly. How could you have done this to any woman--”

“I left her for her own safety,” Jaime reasoned, telling her father what she had guessed long back. “I knew Cersei would kill her if she knew of us, I didn’t want her to die--”

“That’s just nonsense, a bloody excuse,” Selwyn flared up again, “you don’t deserve her.”

“I know.” Jaime hung his head. “I’m unworthy of her, which was another reason I decided it was better she led a life without me.”

Brienne could no longer keep shut. “Ser Jaime is worthier than any man ever could be, he’s a truer knight than anyone I’ve ever known and far more honourable than any nobleman ever would be,” she found herself saying, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. “He’s done much more for me than anyone ever did--” she stopped to take a breath “--or ever could.”

“But my dear--” her father opened his mouth to counter, but she decided to have no more of it. The dam was broken and he would have to bear the brunt of the flow.

“Those few days in Winterfell were the best I’ve ever had, father,” she said softly. “He gave me a life, short, though it may have been,” she admitted, recalling every minute of their time together locked in her heart, safe for her keeping. “He dared me to dream, to hope for a life I’d never have thought I could ever have. Presuming he was dead, I was ready to live my life out with just those memories to give me strength--” she stopped, finding it futile to try to contain her tears anymore.

“I share those dreams, Brienne.” She didn’t stop him when he drew closer. “I’m here because--”

“Shut up, you!” she shouted, glaring at him. “You almost died on me! What gave you the right to decide that I had to be safe and sound, wrapped in furs in the North while you fight your arse away?”

“I love you,” he said quietly, “that gave me the right to do what I did.”

“I love you too, but I thought love meant being together, in life and death--” All her restraints fell apart, tears now pouring down her cheeks.

The next minute, she was in Jaime’s arms. Lost in each other, neither of them said anything. He held her to his chest while she sobbed into his neck.

“I thought I lost you,” she breathed into his warm skin. “How dare you--”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, kissing her head, tightening his grasp around her. “I can’t change the past, but I’d do anything to make your future worthwhile.”

They would’ve stood there all day if her father hadn’t made an awkward noise which sounded like a forced cough.

Jaime let go of her immediately and turned to him. “Lord Selwyn, I love your daughter and there’s nothing more I’d wish for than to marry her.”

Selwyn observed him critically. “How do I know you won’t make her cry again?”

“That was a big mistake, one that I’m sure I could never bring myself to repeat,” Jaime said, looking at Brienne again. “I’m here to beg for her forgiveness and _hope_ she’d take me back. I seek your consent to make her my wife--” he hesitated for a second, searching her eyes for an answer “--only if she wants me.”

Brienne smiled through her tears. “Try not to run away in the middle of the night again,” she said in mock warning.

“If I ever attempt such a thing, feel free to punch me in the gut and knock me down,” he said affectionately, taking her in his arms.

When their lips met, she melted into him, taking in the smell of his body and the feel of his skin, hoping this wasn’t another of her frequent dreams that she usually woke up from, lonely and forlorn in her bed, shedding silent tears for the man she loved.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

_Many months later..._

 

Jaime took a tentative step towards the birthing bed, holding his breath as he caught the first proper glimpse of his lovely wife and their two babies who lay peacefully by her side.

“Thank you, this is the second best gift I’ve been blessed with,” he gushed, perching by her side, “the first being you, of course.” Overwhelmed beyond words, he could say nothing more.

Brienne smiled contentedly. “Joanna,” she mouthed, glancing at the baby girl to her left, “and we can name him--”

“--Selwyn,” Jaime decided, brushing his lips against hers. “A perfect family.”

“Our dream,” said Brienne, closing her eyes, tired, but happy.

“Our dream,” he agreed, kissing her again.

 


End file.
